One in every three...

So I preface this by saying (on the off chance they see this) that I love both my roommates very much and do not judge them by their rantings....they have every right to their opinions and I think I understand just the rant tangents one can get caught up into...in fact this is a rant against ranting...an antiranting of sorts...I just don't agree with their sentiments. In fact I thought what they were saying was quite stupid.

In short one thing in particular especially bothered me.... Saying you think that one in every three people just dying randomly (by some virus or something) would be good for the world and you wouldn't care if it happened even if you or people in your family were one of the people to die is just stupid and you're lying. It's saying something for the affect of saying it. Denying your existence is stupid. Yes humanity has done a lot to fuck with the world...but it's in our nature and our nature...um came from nature! Yeah I don't think we should be defeatist, we should try to alter our nature otherwise we will just end up destroying ourselves but being ridiculously self righteous does no good either. Its pointless anger and its not really original either which bothers me when people think their thoughts are soooo original and 'no one understands' ...its creating a delusion of your own [moral] superiority...and it is just that, a delusion. The world doesn't give a shit if you die for it and I don't think one can honestly say they want what's "best for the world" at the cost of themselves because the world is just other organisms...it's projecting human moral idealism onto the natural world that just doesn't exist. Things compete and kill other things. This is how its done. Yeah I do think because of how self aware we are as a species that we should be doing more to be the shepherds not the destroyers of this planet but thats the thing when it comes down to it we're not better than anything else and we compete to survive and do what's in our best interest. Part of humanity is to be selfish and love those dear to you and saying you'd sacrifice yourself and/or those you love for "the world" is stupid. The world doesn't give a shit what you give to it. You simply gain some socially constructed utility by the prospect of martyrdom. The phrase just irked me. It's something little I know but the overall sentiments they were expressing invoked similar emotional responses of annoyance from myself...I guess I'm just self righteously against self righteousness.

Alright. Enough of that...time for drug induced sleeps.

Also, 42% of the human genome is made up of endogenous viruses... remnants of the past viruses that just eventually incorporated themselves into our DNA. Funsies.

And red panda. Winking.

Hello 2010, Two more years until the Apocalypse.

Huh, only 3 updates in 2009.

Well, I've been afraid to read this old blog...it's not quite as stupid as I thought it would be...still stupid but I only edited one entry because I felt guilty about making fun of someone. Really if they'd seen it it's too late anyway and really doesn't matter since I don't talk to them anymore, but still....I felt bad. Also I'm never posting links again....they just fail over time and it makes me angry when I want to see what I was talking about when I don't remember but can't...pictures and copy paste is okay...but yeah internet things deteriorate as well..

My life's been a mess for a while...just now starting to get a better grasp on things...It was of course soon after moving out I realized that Birnam Wood was a dark hole of place to live in. Like literally underground and dark. Such a depressing atmosphere to amplify the situation and everything that happened last (school) year.

Needless to say Junior year has been a lot better, and Fall quarter was quite enjoyable.

Hayley 2010 model.

I work at the recycle center.

Am a declared cellular and molecular bio major.

Have lots of new friends and still some of the old.

Live with 2 awesome people. Erin and Brittney.

Cut my hair short.

Over Kelsey, finally, for christ sake.

I think Robot Chicken Star Wars is the funniest thing ever right now and I practically know every line.

...I got a bike and am really going to try and ride it to school and stuff.

Also, I like Lady Gaga. What a twist!

Speaking of Lady Gaga....Grey is like a real tiny person now. He enjoys singing and dancing to music. Some of his faves are "Funhouse" by P!nk and "Boys Boys Boys" by Lady Gaga

Anyway...I'm sure I won't be able to not talk about me but I hope to talk more about my classes on this thing and why they're important to me...let's see if I actually have the energy to do so.

I got A's in the classes I care about.

Microbiology was really hard and I am very happy to have gotten an A in it...I learned a lot of interesting things but have already forgotten many of the details...I'm going to get my test back and do a Microbio highlights entry I swear before I completely forget everything.

Genetics was easy but I'm still glad to have gotten an A in it because for once I managed to not just completely not try and fuck up my grade in a class I thought was stupid.

Physics I got a B in...which I deserve.

This quarter I'm sort of angry with my schedule. I feel like I'm going to get sick of things real fast. I'm working a lot also. Which is good and bad at the same time....My school/work combined day will be at least 10am-4pm everyday.

Cell Bio I'm happy to take

Geology I'm content with though I'd rather be taking it next quarter when I'd maybe have be lucky to have Rachel as a TA

Phy'sucks' speaks for itself

I couldn't take Microbio lab because that'd be a total of 11 hours of lab a week....I couldn't just take it instead of Geology because that'd put me at 11 credits which is not a full time student status. Fuck you number 11.

one day.

meredith and I will find the answer.

why can cheese melt but not crackers!

This basically summarizes my life sometimes.

kate you're gonna be jealous

oh the sunsets at ebey's.
I pretended you were with me katie!

Five Screens

I am watching another episode of house. I like house, there's a marathon, it's ridiculous.
I am fixing my mom's computer. I think I can do it, we've had such bad tech luck.
I am sort of playing dinosaur king on my nintendo ds. It's alright.
I am updating my new I pod touch, It's cool but I really didn't need it. It was my christmas present from my dad and kate.
I am also on my own computer. Clearly.

Right now, especially, I feel like my thoughts and who I am contains only as much substance as the combination of the five.

new room set up. lots better. rip moldy memory foam mattress pad.

so I skipped five scrabble turns of mine until I had a place to play "dinosaur" on the board...it was an aspiration of mine for a while...I lost. but it was worth it. I wanted to loose anyway.

today I was/still am very depressed and bitter. I slept most of the day. Kelsey and Rachel watched movies...but I was very much over the heterosexual love story-ness of their movie choices. That basically sums up my bitterness.

I got into my Chem class...

I got into my organic chemistry class finally. There is something to be excited about I guess. I think I'll try to focus all my energy on academia in order to distract my mind from other things. I'll just admit it even though its gay to say (pun sort of intended) I just want someone to love me (not in a friend way) but that's just not in my near future. So Organic Chemistry, Latin, Biology and Intro to Political Science...here I come...I really need to raise my GPA. And be less of an overall 'tardcake. I like my new medication...its working and doesn't make me tired...now I know that its just me being lazy when I don't do things...I no longer just feel like I can't do anything.

This blog is pointless as is facebook. Kate you bes the only one who checks it...and I really only update when I'm depressed...so that's no fun.

lol

It doesn't matter if he actually is looking at Palin's ass or her speech...but this video clip is hilarious and it just looks BAD.

John McCain's wondering eyes

Darth Vader's Secret Apprentice Started The Rebel Alliance!

So I finished reading The Force Unleashed...I liked it of course...because I'm a huge dork. So I'll give you a quick break down...Darth Vader's secret apprentice was born Galen Marek where he lived with his father (Kento Marek) on the Wookie homeworld of Kashyyyk...then Darth Vader came there to kill Galen's dad since he was a Jedi in hiding - and the order 66 is still in effect to kill all jedi, yeah so right before Vader was gonna strike down Galen's dad his lightsaber is force taken from his hand and Darth Vader turns to see a little boy (4-5ish) and thats Galen...Darth Vader takes the lightsaber back and kills Kento Marek then kills the storm troopers who come in and see Galen...And takes him to his star destroyer to train him in the harsh ways of the sith.

(picture for Funsies!)

Older and a really powerful sith, Galen, codenamed "starkiller" is sent on missions by DV and kills some rogue Jedi's himself...(and is ordered to kill stormtroopers as well so there are no witnesses to his existence) but then the Emperor finds out about him and Darth Vader stabs him in the back through his stomach in front of the emperor...but then he heals Starkiller and sends him on a new mission to organize a resistance to the emperor in order to "distract" him so that Starkiller can eventually assassinate the emperor and "Rule the galaxy" with DV...well now he is torn since he was almost killed by DV and his pilot for his missions (and new crush) Juno Eclipse, was branded a trader and left to die by DV (he saves her though)...but he continues with the mission and pretends to be a good guy, destroys some Empire stuff, saves a younger Leia Organa from capture... and then...when the rebels are gathered...and he finally decides he really wants to be part of the Rebel alliance it turned out that the emperor and DV were just using him all along and that he was just a tool to gather all the resistance leaders in one place and to kill them...Once again he is almost killed by DV...thrown off a cliff but Juno finds him and together they go to the in-construction death star in order to save the rebel leaders...Well he beats DV but doesn't kill him and then saves the rebel leaders by sacrificing himself...Juno flies them away while he becomes "one with the force" and therfore "more powerful than ever before." And also like force blasts the emperor and DV and everyone else around (before he died of course) in order to provide a good distraction/cover for them to fly away.
....FUNSIES...I was bummed he died but of course he had to die to make way for Luke...the rebels looked up his history and used his family crest as the rebel symbol in memory of him. And he was able to remember his name and a bit of his life before he died.

Also, I like this quote from when he was battling one of the Jedi named Shaak Ti. Starkiller is fighting her and he says that the dark side is inexhaustible and this is her response...

"Your strength is prodigious...but that is your own doing. Light, dark - they are just directions. Do not be fooled that you stand on anything other than your own two feet."

Anyway...completely different note - I found this picture...it was on a bumpersticker on facebook...and I thought it was just so fucking hilarious...the caption is..."McDonald's Hits Africa." It really kinda looks like a fat giraffe!



What else what else. I'm nervous to go back to school...even though I'm really excited to go back...I've gotten so dumb! I need to bust out the chemistry book...and I am unfortunately still hopelessly smitten with the same being...despite my resolve not to be...I am obviously functioning though...but back to school will be good for me! So excited to live with friends in the apartment...its going to be BITCHIN'.

On another extremely dorky note...I started reading the Naruto manga online again...I'm such a sucker for the whole good vs evil archetype hero stories...Star Wars, Eragon, Naruto...they're all so rediculously similar and thats why I like them...Eragon and Star Wars similarities are kinda hilarious actually... Jedi Order = Dragon Riders, And Eragon is trained by Brom who was friends with one of the first to betray the Dragon Riders and who is also Eragon's father (this guy wasn't the main bad guy though and is dead)...which of course is like Obi Wan (friend/mentor to Darth Vader) who was Luke's Pa....and then Eragon's uncle is killed just like Luke's aunt and uncle....etc. etc. etc. I stop now. Daily show is almost on...last nights was hilarious...

OMG...so I'm re-editing...seriously...anyone who can NEEDS to watch these episodes of Daily Show and Colbert : they are so funny.... *footage of slack jawed Bill Clinton...at least 30 seconds* "an uncomfortable amount of mouth breathing time." - Jon Stewart

Here lemme see if this works. This is from last night...not what I just quoted...Funsies! how cool is that, that I can embed that video onto my blog! I could maybe copy the html layout and embed other videos that don't already have the code for me...cool!

THE FORCE UNLEASHED

I am so excited for it. TFU

I don't really know why...but the whole star wars darth vader's secret apprentice story just sounds so cool to me. the game looks fun...(better for xbox 360 than the wi but all I got is a wi so its fine)
I ordered the book...if I like it I might get the graphic novel too...I am such a loser.

Doing the Farmer's market on Saturday.
Made a New Business Card. Got me website on it www.watershotsphotography.com Check it.

I'm just going to say it. I can't get someone out of my mind. I wish that was more cryptic than it actually is.

Wine drunk. its different that's for sure.

Hayley's New [Hopeful] Daily Regiment

I thought of a list of 6 things I should do everyday but since I'll know I'll never do all of them each day I decided I should at least do 5 of the 6 and to not skip one thing two days in a row.

- One "Hard" Exercise (jogging, etc..)
- One "Easy" Exercise (walk w/ mom, situps and pushups, etc....)
- One Helpful House Chore
- One Hour (at least) Organizing my life (cleaning, sorting out what to take back to school, etc...)
- One Hour (at least) Reading Something
- One Hour (at least) Doing stuff for my "Business" (making cards, taking pictures, etc...)

So far today I went jogging (and it kicked my ass) and did the dishes...3 more. Perhaps I'll shave soon...my leg hair is like over an inch long now....

...

Demetri Martin Flip Chart

Anderson Cooper and Living Lohan

Hayley is a lazy bastard. Pretty depressed. Misses her friends. Is sick of being in Coupeville. And Sick of her own despondency.

thats all for now.

Pictures I forgot

so I've forgotten quite a few pictures I've taken...like this one...it looks like the water is a monster about to eat kate!

so anyway I'm working on having my domain name link right to the smugmug site...but for now I'd like to show you the cool way you can see/buy my pictures...its a really cool site...I have to pay $150 a year but basically i set my own prices and make money when people make purchases...and I can advertise by maybe having my stuff in the museum, some shops downtown and doing the saturday market...I am really excited about it.

anyway here. pictures (there is another gallery too...I just linked to the first one.)

Arts and Crafts Festival

So I think that if I actually paid for all of my supplies (instead of paying for part and my mom and grandma paid a lot) that I would come close to breaking even...With those large prints I'm not sure that I would have...But you see I still have a lot of stock...so that's cool. Well. I just need to find a way to get rid of that stock. Thinking maybe Farmer's Market...and well I have family too who wanna buy stuff. But I want to keep selling and making stuff...The festival kind of boosted my confidence...but I need to get pictures from other places than just Coupeville. Anyway here's a p

I'm discovering that if I really want to do this I need to make my cost of supplies cheaper...I found a website that sells photo mattes for 2 bucks instead of what I've been paying 3-5 and if I get my prints at Costco or Smugmug the 4x6 prints cost the same but 8x10's are 2 bucks instead of 5 ... and 11x14's for 6 bucks instead of 15... 20x30's 10 bucks instead of 30...etc. ...yea...shoulda been a little bit smarter 'bout that.

Thats all I feel like putting up. I bes watchin' scrubs.

Sharkwater

Sharkwater...its a pretty good documentary...its about how sharks are becoming endangered from illegal shark fin fishing...and how absolutely AWFUL and wasteful and corrupted the shark finning industry is.

The people in it are pretty bad ass...the main camera guy (who is pretty attractive) joins up with a renegade conservation boat....that sinks or rams illegal fishing boats...and they got in trouble with costa rica for shooting water guns at an illegal shark finning boat...and because the government is payed off by the shark fin mafia (yea that sounds ridiculous). it didn't matter that the other boat was illegal...but instead of going to court they filmed the private docks of the mafia and then booked it for international waters...

great i was already depressed tonight and this is just awful...they just cut the fins off and throw the shark body back alive still...and they just writhe and slowly die....

"The world's shark population is estimated to have declined by 90%"

people are just stupid. environmentalism isn't just to protect the environment its to protect us too...if you already are a self absorbed bastard at least look at it that way...I already knew this fact but they mentioned that without sharks to control fish populations that feed on plankton...plankton will decline which produces 70% of our oxygen.

Oh well...at least if we fuck up the planet we'll destroy ourselves...life will always exist on earth...it'll be just different...and if we wipe out everything as we know it at least it will be better for future and surviving life forms.

some videos for yous

this is just 30 seconds of what was on Jurassic Fight Club...its like a recap on the episode...so you still get to see the baby Manjungatholus beaten against the tree by a large male...it was so needlessly and hilariously violent...and I wish I could find clips from the whole episode...basically the episode sucked because in the first 5 minutes you basically understood the "science" and then the next half an hour was basically just defending their "speculations" ...so basically they just made a bunch of crap up...and here's the recap.

Majungatholus DEATH BATTLE

it was a lot better the whole 5 minute clip on the show...because it seemed almost like dinosaur erotica the way the narrator described the scene..

okay and here's the second video its almost 7 minutes long but WATCH IT ALL...it is worth it...these are the sharks eating the whale carcass I talked about earlier.

GREAT WHITE SHARKS EATING WHALE CARCASS ....and the aforementioned great white shark penis

anyway I wanted to post this picture...its the same picture that was in my eyewitness book about sharks...my favorite eyewitness books as a kid were sharks, cats, dinosaurs and one about evolution of man and as you can tell they still influence me to this day...

so here for you is a fucking huge great white to contemplate...

okay that's all...I hope you enjoy

update from Cali...

here are some pictures...I don't like updating this thing without pictures...I feel like they really are the more entertaining elements of my bloggy blog. The first picture is my brother marc...he caught a sharky shark in the canal behind my aunt and uncle's house. And that's my dad in the background being a creepster.

The other two pictures are the sunset with the canal that my aunt and uncle live on.

South park was funny last night I copied down two quotes...the setting is atheist otters in the future trying to kill cartman the time child who froze himself in a glacier because he didn't want to wait 3 weeks for the nintendo wi to come out. In this future religion has been outlawed/destroyed so now atheist leagues fight over what's the correct type of atheism and the most logical way to live.

"Know this time child, I shall crack your skull just like I crack a clam on my tummy!"

"They chop down trees to make tables when they have perfectly good tummies to eat off of!"

I'm really getting excited for the arts and crafts festival. I hope people like my stuff...and if my friends come up and see me I'm gonna be super excited... especially meredith, rachel and peter...

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I picked up the saying PWND from kate-ums...and I just can't stop thinking it in my head right now. I'm Compelled...

I splurged today...and shouldn't have...I purchased all three seasons of Arrested Development for 45 dolla's ....thats more than half off! and I knew that they would probably not be on sale anymore on amazon by the time I finally decided whether to get them or not...I feel its worth it...

oh man! I think I might (depending on stress levels) try to get a job at kitz cameras...it'd be a good job for me...I'd probably get an employee discount on my prints...and I'd actually be able to talk to people about taking pictures and stuff 'cus I'll know a little bit...and my OCD will make me good at checking if people's pictures printed correctly.

I want to post a link to ----- blog...just for funsies to remind people that they can go there if they want a good laugh.

There it is for all to enjoy. Oh I think I'll make a facebook group! That'd be fun... "The Secret Cult Following of Hayley's --------- blog at Western" it doesn't matter who you are its hilarious.

I'm excited for Jurassic Fight Club tomorrow...I will most definitely watch it And I'm even more excited to come home whenever I will wednesday night.

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Damnit I'm back on my blog again...and I just don't want to start another. I want to talk to somebodys...I so wronery...its just me and the crickets in my aunt's house who are awake...no joke the crickets are pretty intense...you can kinda find where the are...like I didn't see it but I knew there was one in the bathroom when I went because when I turned the light on the noise suddenly stopped. St. John's Wort...I can't really tell if thats doing anything....

OMG they're showing a bunch of great whites just chomping down on this whale...its a huge whale and there are like 10 great whites...CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP they just don't stop...omg I wish kate could see this...fatty fatty sharks. OMG SHARK PENIS...SHARK PENIS ON CAMERA FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER....GREAT WHITE SHARK PENIS....its because they're all aroused by so many members of the opposite sex...they just ate and are bloated and now sexually aroused...oh my god I fucking love shark week....Kate I think this is very similar to what happens to you after you eat bacon (the sexual arousal)...the sharks are just kinda lazily running into and nuging each other...oh god now a scientist is sitting on top of the whale carcass to get a close up of the sharks eating...oh dear...this is very intense...again I think i need a picture to separate my never ending commentary on basically every fucking thing...

chompity chomp chomp chomp.

okay that was exciting...I should go to bed now I guess even though I'm not really tired...I'm thinking about the malcolm quote from jurassic park (a previous post) and how these last two hours I spend on this blog reflect my day and how my days reflect my typical week and that week the typical month and the months the years and just how ridiculous I am. the ADD is definitely prominent in this post as is the OCD from the numerous times I've come back to this same post and edited/added to it...and the emotional instability in my rants...etc...and this crap isn't even in my dia-journal...oh well...watcha gonna do when you're just a human.

[two days later I took out most the whiney stupid stuff...I'd rather my blog be more entertaining and less ranty]

Today kate found one of my little notes again...that I hid around her room when I went to visit her and she wasn't back yet...this one I had wrote said "Rainbows, I heart them" that made me chuckle...I would write something pretty gay like that.

And fractals and rainbows just really remind me all about how I really want to get really high again sometime...I YEARN to...damnit...it really is nice, as kate said, to have your brain feel different...and now kate can't say I never updates me blog...most ridiculous update ever.

update...whegswa?

Well hayley is bummed about certain things that were inevitably not gonna work out...but really can't wait to go back to school and live with her friends. Probably gonna go back on the medication...just too emotionally unstable off of them...we'll see though.

In other news I'm gonna have a booth at the "renowned" Coupeville Arts and Crafts Festival...I'll make an event on facebook in order to guilt/encourage my friends to come and visit and 'support' me...Right now I have 142 cards completed and 9 eight by ten matted prints...I'll probably do 30 eight by ten mattes and 300-400 cards...so I'm like a third done...and the arts and crafts festival is on the 8th and 9th of august. Anyway here is my work station...the whole couch late into the night when everyone is asleep and can't harm my "work"


Ironic you think with the whole selling my photography I'd be able to take less fuzzy pictures of my cards with pictures on them...I didn't want to use the flash though 'cus I think it ruines the mood...anyway I'm kinda watching Project Runway... finally...its really funny when they think their outfits are great and talk shit during the interview but they really suck...

Hamlet 2 really looks hilarious...I'm gonna go see that for sure. Oh I also want to put this picture up...I took it when I hiked ("hiked" = really nature walked) with kate at deception pass... I call it eagle, RV and bridge...I strive to have a whole series...of bridges accompied by eagles and RV's I feel like it represents things so well...the bridge is man's dominance over the world the RV is man trying to reconnect with nature and the eagle is there a whole hike away elluding his lame efforts...or some shit like that....its 3 I'm tired and being silly...here's the pic.


the eagle is far to the left and just a tiny black dot really and trust me there are at least 3 RV's on the bridge...you might be able to see a bit better when you make the picture bigger...but its not really about being able to see whats in it clearily...just know they were there because I saw them.

Time for bed...I was really ready to sleep 2.5 hours ago.

Next project runway preview...quote from Tim Gun "its a terradactyl at a gay jurassic park." AaHAHahaHA....I can't wait.

I'll be going to Newport Beach on Friday to visit the yuppie family in yuppie centralia...yeah okay I won't keep going and rant about my dad and how I'd rather not go...but hey I'll have a job to do for my aunt so thats good! moneys.

on that note...beddy bed time for real real and not for play play now.